Forever
by carby89
Summary: post seaon 2 finale-What Now! R
1. Pain

As the sun was going down, he walked slowly around his empty apartment, the lights were off and it was silent. No tears no sounds of cars or even the wind all he could he was the thoughts in his mind.

The clock hit 12.00 and the bottle of vodka that was lying on his coffee table was nearly empty. He took one last slip and began to look into space and in his mind all he could think about was her, her face, and her smile the way she walked. Rationally he knew that she was gone but not in his mind the vivid picture in his mind was real. As he began to remember the times they had together a smile crept upon his face, he never wanted to let these images go. All he wanted to do was stay awake forever but he couldn't as time began to move on his eyes began to close, but suddenly he heard something. It was something he had heard before

"Trouble sleeping" the voice said quietly

"Your not here" he said firmly

"I am always here, I am always with you". She said gently

Vaughn took a deep breath and began to sit up and there it was the face, the smile it was her. His mind couldn't comprehend what was right in front of him, so he just sat there not saying a word.

She smiled softly and began to stand up

"Is it really you' he said as he stood up and stood in front of her

"It's me she said, when she began to say it her heart began to pound and her hands were shaking

"I can't believe this, you have know idea what it has been like without you" he said as a tear began to fall down his cheek, he then took another sip of his drink

"I know, and it's ok to be angry but what your doing is not alright, your killing yourself" she said calmly

He avoided the statement and said, "No one understands, what it is like, they don't know that it hurts to talk it hurts to breathe"

"I know what it is like to lose someone Vaughn, you know that better than anyone, Maybe it is time to let go", she said

"I can't, I just can't, I am sorry but there is sill a part of me is clinging to the fact that you will come back, he began to cry and then said again, that you will come back to me," he said as he walked close enough to look straight into her eyes

"You never know", she said grinning and smiling

All Sydney wanted to do was say that she was really there, that it was her, but she knew what would happen to her if she did. So she didn't

"Your still quite funny, Miss Bristow, he said laughing

"Only with you" she said

"I miss you, I miss you so much", he said filled with emotion

"I miss you too", she said with tears in her eyes not wanting to let the moment slip away.

As she began to walk away from him, he grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him and brought he hand to her face and kissed her, she knew it was real but, in his mind this was her way of saying a final goodbye to him, to them.

They stood there for a while just looking at each other and then he said "I love you, I'll love you always, I just wish that it wouldn't of taken all this to finally say it"

"I love you too, I... she said without continuing on

"I don't want this to end", he said still staring at her

"Everything ends at one point but now it is your turn to move on and be happy again, find what you want and then get it", she said as she began to sit down on the couch

"All I ever wanted is you", he said as he grabbed her hand softly

"I know", she said quietly

"With you is where I feel safe, everywhere else I am just trying to get through the day without thinking about you or even talking about you and it had been so hard, I still feel you and that is one thing that I don't want to forget or have to let go of", he said

"You will figure it out", she said sounding so sure of that fact

"What if I can't, what if I wont, he said slowly

'Then I underestimated who you are", she said nearly in tears, she couldn't believe what she was saying, she was telling him to let go even though she knew that she never would. She knew that if he did let go then he would get the second chance that she would never be able to.

As he began to move closer to him, he could feel her again, and that's what he needed. He took her in his arms like he would never let go. She fell into to him and softly wept into his chest, she never wanted to let go, she wanted to stay with him forever.

They had been talking all night and as the sun began to rise, she knew that she had to leave but she didn't know how, so as he began to look at her again, she said into his ear "Close your eyes and when you see darkness fall and the sun rise you will know that I will be gone"

"Don't please", he said filled with emotion

"I have too", she said as she began to close his eyes

As he closed his eyes, Sydney leaned forward and with tears running down her face she gave him one last kiss but not without leaving something behind.

As he slowly open his eyes and looked around the apartment she was gone, he then looked at the vodka still on the table and in one movement smashed it to the ground and slowly began to breakdown. He then glanced at the table again and saw something unusual, he leaned forward and picked it up and couldn't believe his eyes...


	2. Suffering and happiness

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He looked down at the table to see if what he was seeing was real, but in his head he really didn't care what was in front of him all he could really think about was her face and how much he missed her. He ached for her. Once he snapped out of this daze he picked up the note that was on the table and brought it closely to his face and read it out loud, it said.

_Vaughn, we'll find each other_

He sat there for what felt like hours just looking at this plain piece of paper with five words on it. There was a part of him that wanted it to be real but the other rational part just saw is as another way of saying goodbye.... Just then the doorbell rang

Vaughn got up and answered the door and it was Weiss

"Hey", Weiss said happily

"Hi, what are you doing here it's really early", Vaughn said as he yawned

"I brought breakfast and I thought we should talk, you know you can talk to me right", Weiss stated quietly as he walked in to Vaughn's house and saw the glass shattered on the ground

"What's there to say, would you like me to sit here and tell you that every minute of everyday she is all I can think about, she is all I see when I close my eyes and the irony to that is that I don't sleep, he was on the verge of tears, is that what you want to hear", Vaughn said firmly

"I miss her too." Weiss said softy

"I know, but it's not the same, I hate to admit this but there is a part of me thinks that she is coming back, even sees her and talks to her but then there is another part of me that knows she gone, but Weiss in the end I don't care about what is real anymore all I want is her and I know this sounds weird but I sometimes I feel like she is still here", he said quietly

"Vaughn, I know it huts but she is gone and I think you need to move on, or at the very least come back to work" Weiss said

"I can't, at least not for now, everything reminds me of her, I need some more time", Vaughn said as he looked at a picture of him and Sydney, his arm was around her waist and they were both smiling happily

"I understand, I better go, because I do have to go to work, take care of yourself", Weiss stated as he gave him a hug

"Thanks for coming by", Vaughn said as he saw him walk away.

In Milian 

As she looked outside her hotel room, where she had just arrived all she could think about was his face when she had said goodbye last night. The image of him looking so broken down and lonely, it just broke her heart.

As she lay in bed her phone began to ring

"Sydney, its Kendall I have something new for you", he said

"Ok, what is it now", she said sadly

"I need you to go back to Los Angeles and find a device called that will help us in our search for Rambalidi, it's very important" Kendall said firmly

As she heard him speak all she could think about was Vaughn and whether she would see Vaughn again

"Sydney are you there", Kendall said

"Yeah I am, but Los Angeles isn't that a big risk, I mean what if someone sees me, what I am supposed to do hide", she said

"We will be taking a big risk, but this is just too important to us. You will go under an Alias and leave straight after you have found the device, I will leave your op tech at the hotel in one hour, you leave tomorrow at 9am, Kendall said

"Ok then, I will speak to you when I get back". Sydney said as she closed her phone

After the phone call had ended all she could do was think about seeing him again and if she should just tell him that she was alive, because what she did know was that living without him was worse than death

The Next Day

Sydney boarded the flight to Los Angeles and after 8 hours she was home again, as she walked off the plane with her disguise on, she knew she wasn't thinking about the mission but about him and what it would be like for him to see her again.

Hours later and after the mission had been completed and she had got what had Kendall wanted her to retrieve, she knew that she had to leave and leave that part of her life behind, but she just couldn't, so she told the driver to turn around and told him the direction to Vaughn's house.

At Vaughn's house

After another day of doing nothing but thinking about her, he decided to grab a drink and after every sip he began to see her and began to think back on all their memories, as he thought back a smile began to creep on his face and for the first time in along time he actually felt ok and began to shut his eyes

As she shut the cab door she slowly walked closer to his house and just then the phone rang again, she knew who it was but she really didn't care, so she simply shut it off. As she walked closer she looked in the window and saw Vaughn, all she could think about was now peaceful he looked, she suddenly thought to herself that maybe she shouldn't do this but in her heart, what she really knew was that she couldn't live like this anymore.

As she moved closer to the doorbell, she began to smile and after about 5 minutes she finally pressed the button.

Vaughn woke to the sound of the doorbell and got up to see who was at the door, when he opened the door he couldn't believe what he could see, it was her...

To be continued...


	3. Together Again

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He couldn't believe what was standing right in font of him; it was the same face and the same smile that he had loved, he didn't want to move in case it was an illusion that he had created in his mind but then he softly heard her say,

'Hi', they were the only words that she could think of in that moment

'Syd is it really you or am I dreaming again', he said full of emotion

'No it's really me, you have no idea how much I have missed you', she said as she slowly walked closer towards him

'But how', he said completely shocked at what he was seeing right in front of him

'I will explain everything but can we go inside', she said in a concerned tone, which scared him

As she sat on his couch he moved closer to her, he began to touch her face just to feel that what he was seeing was real, a part of him didn't want to let go of this feeling. Her face was just as it had been before and as one of her tears feel on his hands he knew in that second that she was real and that she had come back to him

'I should probably explain everything that happened but right now I just can't, I just want to sit here with you and feel safe, which is something that I haven't felt in a long time. I can tell you that me coming to see you has put us both in danger but after last night I just couldn't stay away from you" she said as she began to cry

"That was really you last night, oh my god I thought I was dreaming. After last night I just couldn't think about anyone else but you and now that you are here I really don't care what will happen to us as long as I am with you. Losing you once made me think that I just can't lose you again and I won't" he said firmly

'I missed you so much I don't think I can put it into words and after last night I just couldn't let you go', she said

'I know the feeling', he said

'If this was the last night I ever had to live I would want to spend it with you', she said filled with emotion

'I love you so much and like I said last night I am sorry that it look all this for me to finally say it' he said quietly

'I love you too' she said

They were both now looking at each other straight in the eyes and both of them didn't look away not for a second. Vaughn slowly moved closer towards her so he could feel her heart beat and as he moved closer and closer her heart began to race. He then put hand on her face and slowly moved in and kissed her. In his head it had felt like forever since he had done that. They continued to kiss until Vaughn let go and began to embrace her.

"I don't want to let go, I am afraid that you won't be here if I open my eyes", he said softly

"Well I will be, I don't care about anything anymore my job, my old life all I need and want is you', she said

When he heard her say that he began to kiss her again, this time more intensely, all he could think to himself, was how much he missed this, how much he missed her. Sydney just fell into him. It was the most real moment between them

'Your so beautiful', he whispered into her ears

Suddenly she felt so safe, she let go of his embrace and put her head in his shoulder and began to shut her eyes. He watched her sleep what felt like forever, but as time went by he began to slowly close his eyes.

It was morning and the sun was rising, a part of him thought that when he woke up she wouldn't be next to him. He opened his eyes and there she was staring right back at him.

'Morning', he said giving her a kiss

'Hi', she said quietly

'I thought I would wake up and find out that this was a dream', he said

'I know what you mean', she said smiling

Vaughn thought to himself, god I have missed that

'Vaughn', she said firmly

'Yeah', he said

'What are we going to do about everything else, the covenant, Kendall, they are going to be looking for me and then they will come after you, and I don't think I can handle that', she said nearly in tears

'We will figure it out together, no one is going to take you away from me again, it is you and me forever', he said

'Forever' she said

Vaughn grabbed her hand and pulled her arms around is shoulders and began to kiss her slowly at first but them more passionately and only let go to say one thing.

'I love you'

Sydney then leaned up again began kissing him again, as Vaughn kissed her neck, she began to tremble, Vaughn began to undo her shirt slowly as he kissed her, and just as things became more passionate the door bell rang.......


	4. The Perfect Night

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As the door bell rang again Vaughn was getting more and more aggravated all he wanted to do was kiss her but he couldn't, not until he saw who was there.

"I should get that", he said sadly and frustrated

"Do you have to", she said even more sadly as he began to get up and put his shirt back on

"Believe me I don't want to but I should" he said

As he began to leave he just stopped to look at her one more time before he knew he had to leave but he also knew that she would be still be there when he got back still a part of him just couldn't leave the room. As he was beginning to leave Sydney said

"What if it is my dad or even worse the covenant", she said with a worried tone

"Syd, I really don't think they would ring the bell and if it is your dad, I am sure that he will be just a happy to see you as I was", he sad with a smile on his face

"I guess your right", she said

"I will be right back", he said with a huge grin on his face

Vaughn then kissed her and left the room and she got up to try and listen who was at the door

Vaughn opened the door and it was Jack

"Jack", Vaughn said

"I heard something today that I thought you should know", Jack said quietly

"Ok I am listening", Vaughn, said

"I know this is going to be hard to accept or believe, I know I am wrapping my head around the idea, Vaughn they saw her, she is alive. So we have to go and find her, she might still be in LA", Jack said firmly

"Jack I have something to tell you", Vaughn said

"Daddy", she said chocked with emotions

"Sweetheart is that you", he said with tears in his eyes

"Yes I..." before she could finish her sentence he leaned forward and pulled her into a long embrace

"I missed you so much", Sydney said crying into his shoulders

"I missed you too honey", Jack said as he kissed her forehead

After Sydney had finished explaining what she had been through and after the emotion had died done Jack said to Sydney

"You have to come back to CIA with me now so we can figure this out, or at least to explain to them that you are back, we should go now", Jack said firmly

"Ok I will get my coat, Vaughn are you coming", Sydney said

"No you two go and then when you are done come back here" Vaughn said

"Are you sure", Sydney said as she began to leave

'Yeah, just call me if anything happens", Vaughn said

"When I get back maybe we can finish what we started", she said with a grin on her face

"Definitely, love you", he said smiling

"You too", She said closing the door

As the day continued one, Vaughn decided that he should do something special for the both of them. Something they would both remember.

As the sun was going down and Sydney still wasn't home, Vaughn was beginning worry and as he began to pick up the phone to call her, she opened the door and asked where he was

"I am in here", he said from a distance

As she walked in the room, there were candles everywhere and music playing in the background and in the middle of the room was a table set with candles and food on the top. She couldn't move she just keep staring from the table to him

"Surprise", he said

"I can't believe you did all of this", she said quietly

"I just wanted to do something for you, something that you would remember" he said

"Well mission accomplished", she said smiling

As they began to sit done and eat Vaughn said

"How was your meeting with everyone, I am sure they were all shocked to see you" he said

"Yeah they were but I don't really want to talk about that, I just want to forget about all of that for tonight" She said softly

"I understand, ok then what are we doing tomorrow", he said smiling

'I don't care as long as it is with you", she said

"I know the feeling", he said quietly

"Tonight has been great", she said with a grin on her face

"Dance with me", he said as he got up from his chair

"I would love too", she said grabbing his hand and stood up

Sydney feel into his Vaughn's arms and they both just moved to the music

"You are the only thing I want in this world", he whispered into her ears

"Me too, I don't want this night to end", she said softly

"Well it might but you know what, we will have one just the same tomorrow night", he said with a huge smile on his face

Before she could say anything he kissed her and kept kissing her, as the music began to fade away so did they, away into both their dreams...


	5. The Future

Vaughn kept thinking about last night as he was sleeping, when he opened his eyes she wasn't there. He continued to look around the room and when he couldn't see her or hear anything, so he put on a shirt and decided to get up and see what was going on.

As he walked out into the living room, Vaughn saw her siting on the couch looking out the window. In his head all he could think about was what see was thinking.

'Hey, what are you doing up', he said as he walked closer to her

'I was just thinking', she said quietly

'About what, is everything ok', he said in a worried tone

'I guess, I mean, yeah I am fine', she said

'You don't seem fine, is this about last night'. He said

'No, last night was great, really great', she said with a grin on her face

'So what is it', he said taking her hands

'Do you ever think about the future', she said softly

'Yeah all the time, you do mean about you and me right', he said

'Yeah about us, the agency or I don't know other people', she said moving away from him

'Other people, I don't understand', he said

'People like kids', she said. As she said it she began to regret it, as she really couldn't tell what he was thinking, which scared her.

'Of course I have thought about that, but I never really thought you wanted to talk about it', he said with a smile on his face

'Why would you think that', she said firmly

'Well I don't know, in my head those things didn't really seem like a major priority for you. You had so much going on with your life I mean between SD6 and Sloane, I thought that kids and a normal life was not part of the picture," he said

'While that is all true, nothing is more important to me than you. When I decide to come back, I knew that there were risks but now that I am here, with you all I can think about is having a normal life with you and leaving behind a life that has caused us both so much pain', she said with a tear in her eyes

As he began to comfort her, all he could picture in his head were them in the future and what it would be like to have a normal life. Vaughn began to drift off into another world but was brought back when she said

'I just need to know that this is forever, that we are forever'

'I love you', he said as he began to kiss her

'That just what I wanted to hear' she said

'We'll figure it all out we have forever to think about' he said as he embraced her

'Forever can wait, lets go for a walk' she said pulling him up

'I would love to', he said following her outside the door

As they entered the park, hand in hand, all they could see were kids with their families playing in the sand, on the swing set and even sitting quietly with their mums and dads

'Come on let's sit down', he said smiling

'Sure, there's a bench right over there', she said

As she was walking towards the bench all she could hear in her head was the sweet laughter or the little kids running around them. As she was about to sit down a little girl who looked about 3 came up to her and Vaughn and said

'Play with me', the little girl said laughing

Vaughn began to look at her wondering what she was going to say

'I would love to, but I have to ask the man next to me', she said smiling

'Go have fun, I will just wait here', he said

'Ok let's go', she said taking the little girls hand

As Sydney began to run away with the little girl, Vaughn just sat and watched her smiling and laughing as she chased the little girl around. She looked like she was having fun, she continued to pick up the little girl and put her on the slide, even pushed her on the swings.

While she was pushing her she kept waving at Vaughn but all he could think was how happy she looked.

Sydney continued to push her as an older women walked up to them, who Sydney assumed was the little girls mum

"Jessica what are you doing', the lady said in a angry tone

"Playing', Jessica said as she ran up the slide again

"Hi I am so sorry, she seems to do this a lot, my name is Anne', the lady said

"Hi, I' am Sydney and it is fine, I was having a great time. Jessica is a great kid, Sydney said smiling

'Great, a handle full though. Do you have kids, you seem like you would be a great mom', Anne asked quietly

'Thanks but I don't have any kids, hopefully one day though', Sydney said as she sat next to the Anne

'I am sure that you will one day", Anne said

'I have always wanted them but timing always seems to get in my way', Sydney said softly

"Can I give you a piece of advice, there is no perfect time. What I do know is that timing is no factor when you hold that little baby in your arms and never want to let it go' Anne said smiling

'I want that more than anything but I have so many responsibilities, which is a bad excuse I know', Sydney said

"No it is fine, I know the feeling. I better be going other wise Jessica will never want to leave and she still has to have a nap. Before I go I will say one thing, all those responsibilities you say you have, I bet they are not as important as the responsibilities you have to yourself and to that man over there, who has been looking and smiling at you for over an hour now', Anne said grinning

'That is my boyfriend, Vaughn, he is the only thing in my life that isn't complicated', Sydney said as she looked at him.

As Anne was about to say something, Jessica came over a pulled on her mothers arm and said

"Lets play again'

'No, it's time to go, say goodbye to Sydney', Anne said

"Bye Bye', Jessica said as she went over and gave Sydney a hug a kiss on the check

"Bye Jessica and Anne Thanks a lot for the advice", Sydney said

"Glad to help, I am sure I will see you hear again with your own Jessica', Anne said putting Jessica in the pram

"Thanks again, have a great night", Sydney said waving goodbye to them

As Sydney walked back to Vaughn, she couldn't get what Anne said out of her head.

'Hey, you looked like you were having fun', Vaughn said putting his arm around her shoulder as she sat down

'Yeah, Jessica even gave me a hug and kiss, it made me smile", she said

"I saw, you looked really happy with her. Was her mum nice, you seemed to talk for a while', he said

'Anne was great, she was giving me some advice', she said softly

'About what' he said

'The future and what is really important to me and to you', she said quietly

"You are important to me, you know that. What is important to you', he said

'Besides you. I don't know, but what I do know is and I hope this won't scare you", she said in a worried tone

"I am sure it won't, not at all', he said

'I know I have responsibilities to people, you, my dad even the CIA but I can't live my life always worried that I am going to disappoint people or in the end I am going to end up with nothing. What I really want is right here in front of us, if you know what I mean', she said

Vaughn kissed her and simply said

'I know, me too"


End file.
